pride

It can feel so good, so empowering, that little defense mechanism we call pride: it makes you invincible and impervious to anything that anyone could do to possibly hurt you. And when the day is over, you get to walk away intact without so much as a glance backwards, head held high, never showing a single sign of weakness, never letting on that maybe you're not really okay. That maybe despite your best defenses, you slipped and you fell... just a little bit. Maybe you even convince yourself. Or maybe deep down you know it hurts, but none of that seems to matter when pride is at stake. It's like some bizarre cartoon where you throw your heart and your reason up in the air and run diving to catch your pride.

The thing is, when does pride cross the line from self-protection to shutting everyone out? How do you know when you've gone too far and your preemptive barriers, intended only to block out the bad, block out everything and everyone? You sit inside your walls... alone with your pride. And maybe that's what ends up hurting the most.

cavanaugh

at Cavanaugh Park
where I used to sit all alone in the dark
and dream about things that I cannot say
you always said destiny would blow me away
and nothing's gonna blow me away

at Cavanaugh Park
where I used to think that this life would be good
and I would do things that I thought that I should
and no one's going to tear me down

and there was never any place
for someone like me to be totally happy
I'm running out of clock and that ain't a shock
some things never do change
never do change

-Something Corporate

the ADHD triad

inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity

...crap.

senioritis

No, it is not inflammation of a senior. I'm not even a member of its target demographic. But I suffer from an insidious case of it anyway. Unfortunately for me, second year isn't over, I am still in vehement denial about taking boards, and my brain/motivation have been on vacation since before spring break. Self-medicating with alcohol does not appear to be the correct solution...