crazy weather

On Saturday it was hot and sunny enough to give me the worst sunburn I've had in 2-3 years. Today it suddenly became winter: 45 degrees, dark, and rainy. What the heck?

things learned on surgery clerkship

I could say, I now know how to perform a running subcuticular with Monocryl. Or how to handle a gunshot wound trauma. Or how to diagnose, work up, and perform a Kasai portoenterostomy for a baby with biliary atresia. But the real lessons are as follows.

In the OR:
1) Pee before scrubbing in.
2) Pinch the nose of your mask to avoid fogging up the entire faceshield. Fog on faceshield = the mark of an amateur.
3) Speak when pimped. Shut up otherwise. Especially when things are not going well.
4) Never contaminate yourself or the sterile field. This is a one-way ticket to OR blacklist hell.
5) Remain perfectly still while retracting. Even when you haven't moved in 4 hours and you can't feel your hands anymore.
6) You will get yelled at. All the time. For things beyond your control. This is okay.

On the wards:
1) It is indeed possible to stay awake for 34 hours straight. And, surprisingly, possible to think on your feet at the 30th hour.
2) Scut is a real phenomenon. Order and pick up Chinese food for both the Trauma and Emergency General teams on my first night on call? Yes sir.
3) It is possible to survive on vending machine food for 34 hours.
4) Get used to the smell of vomit, blood, urine, feces, and sweat.
5) You will ask complete strangers about the quality, color, and odor of their vomit and feces. And then stick your finger up their asses.
6) You will get yelled at. Luckily this is within your control. Don't be dumb.

the ultimate scut

Jo (on phone to OR9)

Hi, I was paged to this number.

Fellow

Yes. What are you doing right now?

Jo

I'm in clinic. Is there something I can do for you?

(Surgery follow-up clinic is in the outpatient building - an entirely separate building from the ORs in the main hospital).

Fellow

Oh. Nevermind then.

Jo

No, really, it's okay. We don't have any patients just yet. How can I help?

Fellow

Well, I left my pen in one of the patient's rooms this morning. I was going to ask you to go track it down. But I guess you're away in clinic. (hangs up.)

reunited

What better way to celebrate not having seen a high school friend in many many years... than to get dressed all slinkily (is that a word?) and take a limo with 10 of his fraternity brothers to Ghost Bar?

Table service? Check.
Beautiful skyline view of downtown Dallas? Check.

So far so good. But it gets better: somehow the afterparty ends up at a stripclub with foam. And me booting on the curb. Classy.