welcome to my family

While looking at graduation pictures together...

Mom (usually extremely critical in that Asian mom way)
Wow, these are nice pictures. You actually look really pretty.

Me (surprised)
You think so? Thanks, mom!

Dad (leaning closer to scrutinize)
Well no, not really. You're just photogenic.

to the man on my flight

Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but "I'm a doctor" is not an effective pick-up line.

why are you asking me this?

I have never in my life been asked, so often and so frequently, the question that seems to bombard me from every angle these days.

Point blank: "Are you single?"

And it's not even coming from guys trying to hit on me. It's from deans and attendings and chief residents and residency advisors trying to help me assess how best to proceed with my career. I get that it impacts tons of people's decisions on a specialty choice, lifestyle, geographic constraints for a wife's career, kids in school, family in the area, whatever. I get that part of it, I really do. But it still shocks me a little each time someone asks me so bluntly.

I've tried to address the whole personal life issue by saying, "I have no geographic constraints and would not hesitate to move anywhere for a great residency program." Then, for good measure, I wave my unadorned left hand around. No, I'm just kidding. I honestly did not expect the whole personal life vs. career balance issue to come up so early - I'm having a hard time even imagining myself married - but apparently my superiors expect someone at my life stage to take these things into consideration.

So... the answer is yes. And as one attending said to me today with a huge smile, "Good for you! That's great, you're so free to do as you please!"

the ultimate scut

Jo (on phone to OR9)

Hi, I was paged to this number.

Fellow

Yes. What are you doing right now?

Jo

I'm in clinic. Is there something I can do for you?

(Surgery follow-up clinic is in the outpatient building - an entirely separate building from the ORs in the main hospital).

Fellow

Oh. Nevermind then.

Jo

No, really, it's okay. We don't have any patients just yet. How can I help?

Fellow

Well, I left my pen in one of the patient's rooms this morning. I was going to ask you to go track it down. But I guess you're away in clinic. (hangs up.)

med students

Conference begins at 8am. I walk in unruffled and calm at 7:50. Literally ALL the chairs are already taken and everyone is sitting with notes open and pen in hand. And only 2 people walk in later than I do.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??

sunday morning ritual

NYTimes Sunday Styles section, hazelnut coffee, and sunlight streaming through my open windows. It's strange how I can't start my week any other way.

In other fashion news, I think my Blue Cults must be magical: no other item in my wardrobe has gotten as much attention from males and females alike, and they're just jeans. It's one thing for your friends to notice and comment, but while I was in line at the West Village Starbucks, a random girl actually got up from her table to ask about my jeans. And then proceeded to ask me for jeans insight and advice. Apparently she was sick of wearing Sevens and Citizens and looking like every other girl... she wanted to look unique (her words). Oh the irony.

mom

Within 2 minutes of walking in my front door:

Mom
What happened to you? Why are you so fat? *pinches my love handles*

Within the next 5 minutes:

Mom
Go down to the car and unload the icechest full of food I brought you.

crazy hair

You know it's bad when your real hair resembles a Halloween wig.

euro, metro, or homo?

I used to have a mini-crush on Cristiano Ronaldo...



...until I saw these pictures.

No comment. B wins this discussion, for rightly making fun of me when I was crushing on Ronaldo in the first place.

underwear party

Following much summer hype, it did indeed occur. After 200 Jello shots, cops at my door, and kicking people out at 4am, I am left with interesting stories, a lot of plastic cups, and a sticky kitchen. That is all.

craziest wkd ever

Wow. Craziest wkd of my life so far. Timewise and artistically. Never have I seen so many supertrendy tight designer jeans rocker tee snakeskin boot fashion and hair obsessed people in one place. Nor have I ever felt so rocker chic.

Fri night:
Attend model callbacks for hair show. Find out J, A, and I got selected(!!) Little did we know what we had gotten ourselves into.

Sat 8am:
Hair cut/color all day (literally all day... I did not think it was possible to do hair for an entire day but apparently it is) and runway show rehearsal. Finally finish by 8pm. I become mildly infatuated with the salon director who took 2 hrs to cut my hair. He's probably old enough to be my dad but is ridiculously in shape and way too effortlessly hot/cool for his own good. A couple of knowing winks and comments like "great bone structure" and "very pretty girl," and I was all giggly inside. Like a stupid schoolgirl. Apparently he is a god in the hair world as well (insert plug for Van Michael salons). Grab a quick bite, check out M's new apt for UT/OSU. Crash at midnight.

Sun 530am:
Hair styling/extensions. Makeup. Costumes. Runway show. The show was actually really cool - hot model types (guys and girls), really avant garde hair styles/colors/cuts. I felt very non-modelly and short... well, even shorter than usual. Finally finish by 3pm. Get paid (woohoo!) Also now have hair that looks like this and won't have time to get it evened out at least till after Friday's exam:




Sun 7pm:
Show at Pearl with new crazy hair. The photographers who did our shoot after the runway show actually came and loved the music. We had just been chatting during the photoshoot and I mentioned that the hair was perfect for my show tonight. They asked me for the time/place but I didn't think they'd actually come. One was this mid-20s, blond, all-American type of rugged cute and lives in Commerce, TX... hmm. Heh only kidding. No stupid ideas here. But I'm glad (and secretly flattered) that they had fun. After the show this one lawyer guy would not leave me alone. I'd guess around 30, Jewish or Mediterranean. Very Seinfeld-esque in personality/affect. Random conversation revealed that he was clearly very intelligent, hell even attractive, but just came on waaaay too strong. At first we were just talking (I'm friendly with all the bar patrons after our shows... hey we live on tips.) He asks me about the quartet, the music, our background, our stories etc. He finds out I'm in med school and says:

Lawyer guy
So how do you find the time to be a medical student AND do freelance music work at this level? Let me guess, you MUST be single.

Jo
Well... yes I suppose I am.

inside Jo's head
What does that have to do with anything?

Lawyer guy
Please let me buy you a drink.

Jo
Oh, um, thanks for the offer, but I have to drive home.

inside Jo's head
Bullshit, you drive after more than one drink all the time.

Lawyer guy
*makes wounded motion towards his heart* Wow well okay. Thanks for being polite, but basically you've just shot me down cold. Ouch that's embarrassing. Man you just got right to the point there. Wow heartbreak. *he is half-joking but serious enough to make me very uncomfortable*

Jo
Ha ha ha... heh. Well, great, hope you liked the show, I gotta pack up my instruments.

Lawyer guy
So how about sushi? Do you like sushi? I know a bunch of great sushi places around here [downtown]. Maybe you will let me take you out for sushi sometime. But seeing as how you wouldn't even accept a drink... well now you'll have to say yes out of pity. Do you guys play here every Sunday?

inside Jo's head
Oh God. This is awkward.

Jo
No, every other Sunday. *conveniently sidesteps other question*

Lawyer guy
Great. I'll definitely be back. Let me know about the sushi. Can I get your number?

Jo
Um actually you know what? I really have to go, but it will be great to see you back here in a couple wks. We'll talk then. Hope you enjoyed the show! *runs away*

Okay so besides effectively prolonging the situation and probably setting myself up for an identical one in 2 wks... here's my take on it. Our shows last for a few hours, and we're talking/joking/working the crowd the whole time. We introduce ourselves, our backgrounds, who we are, what we do in life between songs. Basically the audience knows a shitload about us, as well as watches our facial expressions during the music for a few hours. There is WAY too much informational asymmetry, and by the end of the show they think they know us whereas we know shit about them. This is my theory as to why guys stick around after our shows so much and try to buy me drinks.

This information-asymmetry personality-projection thing happened after the runway hair show today too. FINE so I winked when I looked back over my shoulder after turning at the end of the catwalk. FINE so I did a little playful booty shaking. (All mandated by the choreographer. Okay the wink was me.) About 5 of aforementioned supertrendy badass hairstylists came up afterwards saying stuff like "You're a little firecracker aren't you?" or "You're trouble, you know that?" with a dirty wink. Worse, I actually replied back instinctively with "Oh I know" and winked back. I really must be trouble. =(

Wow this post was guy-oriented. I'm allowed one every once in a while. Sleazy guys and stupid Jo reactions notwithstanding... doing both the hair show and a Pearl gig in the same wkd was much much fun!

speed dating, part deux

As promised. Albeit slightly delayed.

The premise: 4 minutes per date; keep track of your yes/no responses for each date as to whether or not you want to see them again. Afterwards in the safety of your own home, fill in your yes/no responses online and find out with whom you matched. This is a 25-35 year old event. Shhh don't tell.

Timeline of events:

A's friend ("K") was the organizer, so we get in for free. I am here for kicks and moral support. $5 mojitos and two separate name-tag stickers later, (one for your name, one for your assigned speed dating number) we're like cattle being herded off.

Date #1: I forget to write down his number at the end of the 4 minutes. Oops. That one was lost forever in the online match system.

Date #3: I've gotten this speed dating thing down to an exact science. Hi, what do you do? Where are you from? What do you enjoy doing for fun? Randomly insert smiles, nods, and "Oh, that's great."

Date #?: Shy fidgety guy with a nervous tic (keeps blinking/winking in one eye) sits down and says nothing. I use my friendliest smile and try to keep conversation flowing. He finally says he's here because women are guaranteed to talk to him for 4 minutes. I am profoundly sad. This is also the most awkward 4 minutes of my life.

Date #[halfway through]: I realize that these guys are actually writing down my name and notes to help them remember me. Thus far I have only been circling yes or no beside each number. And by circling "yes or no," I really mean circling no. Hey, I said I was here for moral support.

Date #?: Burly Sopranos-hit-man looking guy glances at me and immediately and obviously circles yes before I even introduce myself. Goes off about his extensive law career and divorce law. Flashes his enormous ring and watch. I didn't know people like this existed outside of movies.

Date #?: Emergency Medicine resident from NY. Loves classical music and is genuinely interested in my former violin career. We discuss favorite music, NY hangouts, and the ballet we both happened to see last wkd. Also, he looks uh, older. This feels like dating my dad (okay not MY dad, but a father/mentor figure). Too weird.

Date #[towards the end]: Cute interesting guy ("N"). He's K's friend who graciously filled in at the last minute to even out the guy/girl ratio. He's not here to hook up, but then neither am I. He's a chemical(?) engineer by day and photographer (www.printsagainstpoverty.com) by night. He has humanitarian worldviews and ridiculously blue eyes. I circle yes out of curiosity to see if we match later.

Date #12: The end. Overall, these were (mostly) really nice guys, all professional, well-mannered, but maybe a bit shy or too busy with work to really go out and meet people. They would probably make some nice woman a nice boyfriend. Just not for me.

N asks us if we want to head out for tapas, drinks, and dancing with him, K, and K's boyfriend. We go and have drinks (it IS Alice's birthday after all). N is really cool but is sort of off-limits given the circumstances (i.e. he wasn't really there to meet people, right?).

I fill in my 11 responses online 4 days later. Sadly, Date #1 really is lost in the system forever. I match with N. Surprisingly, I'm shown who said yes to me even though I said no (which defeats the purpose of the safety of online match, doesn't it?) 11 said yes.

speed dating

Tonight I went speed-dating. I have officially become one of "those" people. Now before you judge, know that:

1) it was not my idea
2) it was free, instead of the usual $30(!) fee
3) A's friend organized it, and she really wanted to go. I am easily convinced to do ridiculous things on an otherwise quiet random Wednesday night.
4) I thought there would be at least a few funny stories to come of it.

At least number 4 is very true. It was indeed amusing. I am tired now, but rest assured, stories to come later.

plagiarize THIS

Instead of studying for my upcoming neuro exam, I decided to google myself. Oh come on, it's not like you haven't done it before. And anyway, it was infinitely more interesting than whatever it is I'm supposed to be learning. Especially because, even though you obviously know all about your own life, you may not have known just how much OTHER people out in internet-cyber-world can also find out all about your life.

In my case, I already knew about this. And I even knew about this, insofar that I remember posing for that particular picture. That's probably embarrassing enough, (it was for Distractions! It's supposed to be goofy!)... but the juxtaposition of the other images that Google decided to display is priceless.

What I did NOT know about, however, was THIS:
[PDF] CB News Network – May 2004 44 E in this P
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML... http://www.cbnewsnetwork.com 44 E in this P By J****** C***, Princeton Diversions Directions There are 44 expressions in this puzzle. Get it? ... www.cbnewsnetwork.com/ issue_09/44e_in_p_(answer_key).pdf - Supplemental Result - Similar pages

First of all... what the heck is CB News Network? Secondly, in college I wrote for a publication called Princeton Distractions, not Diversions. Thirdly, how did these CB people even find this from long long ago once-upon-a-time? I didn't even keep all of our old back issues. Fourthly, hello blatant internet plagiarism! Neither Matt nor Gabe [the editors from that time] nor I have ever heard from these people asking permission to reprint our work. Actually we've never even heard of them.

Not that it was ingenious work or anything; it's just odd to suddenly find your name slapped across something in some online publication, and odder still to be cited inaccurately. Even more amusing - some parts of the puzzle are unsolvable unless you WENT to Princeton (e.g. 11 EC on the S = 11 eating clubs on the Street)*. The CB people didn't even bother to edit out the Princeton-specific questions.

Matt says we should sue.

*10 now, apparently, if Campus really did shut down in 2005. Whoever heard of the Prospect 10?

don't strain too hard while pooping

Excerpted from my physiology syllabus:

Interestingly, the magnitude of intra-abdominal pressures that can be generated during defecation is quite large. This results in an increase in arterial pressure because of increased intra-thoracic pressure transmitted across the wall of the heart and aorta. This, in turn, can decrease venous return and increase peripheral venous pressure because of blockage of the large veins in the thorax. The result is a decrease in systemic arterial pressure by decreased stroke volume and cardiac output. These events can have deleterious consequences in patients with vascular disease. For example, strokes often result from increased pressures in cranial vessels generated by individuals straining to defecate. Heretics who believe that Elvis is dead claim that he died in this manner.

Yeah, the stuff in bold is pretty much all I care to take from that paragraph as well. Such useful things I've been learning.

slosh

Have any of you ever drunk so much liquid that your stomach actually sloshes audibly when you move around? As G will attest, this seems to happen to me quite often, but I've never heard of it happening to anyone else. The sloshing problem is exacerbated when I am studying and drinking copious amounts of tea. I am also eating large amounts of Cheez-its right now, which make me thirsty and make me drink even more liquid.

I currently sound like a water bottle being shaken. It's kind of funny. But mostly weird.

In other news, my Longchamp bag arrived from France on Monday! In my customized colors! And monogrammed! I know it's only a bag, but hey, it's the little things that keep me going these days.

so official-looking

Parents' weekend and the MS1 white coat ceremony have come and gone... leaving me with a mess of an apartment to clean, a puffy bloated sense of having eaten way too much on my parents' tab, a lot of catch-up studying to do, and, oh yeah, my white coat. I had requested that my parents bring up my boxes of winter clothes from home, but they decided I needed food more than clothing and packed the car accordingly. Now I will freeze until Thanksgiving, unless my layer of fat from all this food keeps me warm. Things learned this weekend include the following: 1) you will always be a child in your parents' eyes, 2) my parents are surprisingly (or creepily) nosy about other people, and 3) a family of four can go through a single roll of toilet paper with astonishing speed.


This is the Chan clan. Note how normal my height appears in relation to my family... now if only this were true in the real world. I never even think about how small I must appear to others until I see myself in pictures with other (non-family-member) people. Anyway, it was really great to have the whole family together for a weekend. I guess I have been less-than-stellar as of late, and it's nice to have a physical reminder of the people who will always always be there for you. However, I can't lie - having my apartment back to myself is bliss. And I won't have to change the roll of toilet paper as often.