things learned on surgery clerkship

I could say, I now know how to perform a running subcuticular with Monocryl. Or how to handle a gunshot wound trauma. Or how to diagnose, work up, and perform a Kasai portoenterostomy for a baby with biliary atresia. But the real lessons are as follows.

In the OR:
1) Pee before scrubbing in.
2) Pinch the nose of your mask to avoid fogging up the entire faceshield. Fog on faceshield = the mark of an amateur.
3) Speak when pimped. Shut up otherwise. Especially when things are not going well.
4) Never contaminate yourself or the sterile field. This is a one-way ticket to OR blacklist hell.
5) Remain perfectly still while retracting. Even when you haven't moved in 4 hours and you can't feel your hands anymore.
6) You will get yelled at. All the time. For things beyond your control. This is okay.

On the wards:
1) It is indeed possible to stay awake for 34 hours straight. And, surprisingly, possible to think on your feet at the 30th hour.
2) Scut is a real phenomenon. Order and pick up Chinese food for both the Trauma and Emergency General teams on my first night on call? Yes sir.
3) It is possible to survive on vending machine food for 34 hours.
4) Get used to the smell of vomit, blood, urine, feces, and sweat.
5) You will ask complete strangers about the quality, color, and odor of their vomit and feces. And then stick your finger up their asses.
6) You will get yelled at. Luckily this is within your control. Don't be dumb.