real quotes, part 2

Jo (to patient with suspected small bowel obstruction)

So when was the last time you passed gas?

Patient, writhing and moaning inconsolably

I'm not. I dunno. A week maybe. Ohhhhhh my stomach!!

Jo

A WEEK?? (Mind reels frantically. This is a surgical emergency!) Are you sure??

Patient

Yeessss!! Ohhhhhh!!

*proceeds to rip one loudly*

**********************

Fast forward: Jo presents patient to third year resident. R3 and Jo re-enter room.

R3

I hear you're having some abdominal pain.

Patient

*rips another one*

R3 shoots Jo an amused look. Jo almost falls over laughing on the spot and nearly suffocates while choking back laughter.

R3

So, uh, you said you don't think you're passing any gas? When do you think the last time was?

Patient, with "duh" expression

Just now.