pedi GI

Q&A with an MS3 (me!) on pediatric GI service.

What does a typical day smell like?
Well, pretty much like poop. Kidding. A lot of patients are actually here for liver transplant, malabsorption, or pancreatic disease.

So... GI docs don't work with poop?
Don't get me wrong, I've done my share of "cleaning out" kids with fecal impaction. Medically, this involves infusing Golytely* (osmotically active PEG, combined with electrolytes) down a nasogastric tube and waiting until the kid is dripping clear out the other end. Practically, this translates to several days' worth - literally a shitload - of stale, built-up, previously rock-hard fecal matter. We actually put adult diapers on my little 2-year-old when he finally (and explosively) began stooling after 2 days of continuous Golytely.
*Har har. So punny, those drug companies!

Ew, diapers filled with poop.
Yes. And then they send in the third year medical student to pry open the dirty diapers to document texture, color, presence of blood/mucus, odors, etc. Believe it or not, some GI diseases are described in textbooks as producing "foul-smelling stools." Who is writing these textbooks???

What about buttholes?
Yes, we do that too. Sometimes this just means looking for anal fissures. Other times I have to insert a finger. All in a good morning's work before lunch!

Is it true that GI doctors use food descriptions for poop textures?
Yes. Two notable examples are "banana" and "Wolf Brand Chili."

I've heard you enjoy humorous poop stories. Is poop still funny?
Definitely.