the lingo

Every field has it: the insider culture, jokes, language. Since being introduced to the financially-ubiquitous use of "aggressive," I've been singlehandedly trying to start a wave in the medical culture. I'm confident it'll catch on soon. For example, "Mr. X, you have a form of cancer that's particularly aggressive." Except that we already use "aggressive" in that sense. Shit.

In the meantime, here are a few gems that I think might translate well. Go forth and globalize your office or firm! Or wherever else it is you spend your day - your mom's basement, that's cool too.

Badness (n). A general term for "this does not look good." Often used by interns and med students when asked to specifically interpret radiographic studies. Used in combination with generalized sweeping motion of the hand in generalized area of CT or X-ray.

Churn and burn. A phrase used to describe the act of discharging a patient as soon as humanly (healthily?) possible after admitting him, in order to pare down the service. Heard almost constantly on call nights.

Gunner (n). An overly competitive and ambitious (some might say, "aggressive") med student. Likely to backstab fellow students. Always used in derogatory fashion. BIG potential for this one to spread into other fields.

Pimp (v). To ask spontaneous, often random and trivial, questions in order to test the knowledge of your underlings or simply to create anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. Performed under the guise of the Socratic method.

Rock (n). The patient that has been sitting on your internal medicine service for several weeks and doesn't seem to be getting any better, no matter what you do. A problem that will not be leaving in any foreseeable future. This term does not exist in surgery, where patients are discharged home as soon as they are able to fart. You think I'm kidding.

Strong work. A phrase of congratulations exchanged between medicine team members for, you guessed it, a job well done. Often means getting a patient back to his baseline barely-healthy-enough-to-avoid-hospitalization state to discharge him. See: churn and burn.