why i am dumb

(a.k.a. A Day in Jo's Life)*

I was starving on my entire 40-min drive home from work. Planned how and what I would make, how yummy it would be, the whole nine yards. A breaded chicken breast and some pasta. Maybe even some grated Parmesan if I'm feeling fancy. Yes. Yummy indeed.

I walk in the front door and immediately set a pot of water to boil. A-ha, I think. I can save time by starting the pot first, then changing out of my work clothes while waiting for the water to boil. Yes. Good idea, Jo. So efficient! The plan is set in action.

Suddenly I smell something weird. Something is burning. Now naked, I run over to the stove to see that an errant dish towel has caught fire. Huge, leaping flames! I begin to freak out. Then my smoke alarm goes off, and I really freak out. The flames are too tall just to pour water on the stove! There's no time to get the fire extinguisher (which, by the way, is conveniently stored above my reach). What do I do??? I grab the flaming towel with tongs, smoke billowing off of it, and run it over to the bathroom to submerge the whole thing in the shower. The flames thankfully extinguish, and my heart is pounding as I cough away the clouds of smoke in my lungs.

However, the damn smoke alarm is still going off for my entire building. Dear God, it's loud. I run around to open all the doors and windows and turn on all the ceiling fans. Crap, I'm still naked. I pray to God that my apartment won't send a building manager over right now to check out the smoke alarm.

I spend 2 more minutes waiting frantically (and finding clothes). The smoke alarm finally goes off. Crisis averted!! At this point I am pretty satisfied with the turn of events, for all that I'm standing with a T-shirt on backwards in the middle of my living room.

I go back into the bathroom to inspect the charred remains of the dish towel. It is then that I notice that I have singed all the hairs around my face, as well as both eyebrows. I would include a picture, but I may just cry. Thus continues my second annual pattern of doing something drastic to my hair that will require an entire year to grow out of.

*still not a Thailand post