grossness

A little lifelong habit I have, sparked by my intense violin years, is picking away absentmindedly at the tough callouses on my fingertips. For the first time since my childhood, I am no longer practicing violin for hours on end, and thus I no longer have the tough callouses.

I have, however, retained the habit of absentmindedly picking. It happens most often when my mind is occupied but my hands are not. For example, ALL THE TIME while studying or in class, which together comprise my entire med school existence.

Sometimes I even pick until my callousless (and thus defenseless) fingertips bleed. And only then do I notice what I'm doing... as I proceed to BLEED EVERYWHERE. I know, I'm gross. I'm sorry. Maybe by admitting my grossness to the world, I will shame myself into stopping.

But most likely not.